Becoming Well With Liz Tafadzwa

Hello BW Community 

I am so glad to be back with you all. First of all, how are you? How are you really doing? I think today more than ever society regardless of where you live has forced us to constantly be in go-mode that the only time most of us check in is when we fall sick. I don’t blame you if you have ever been in that position because i have been in that position many times. I will be transparent enough to say I had my first big burnout this year two weeks ago and did everything not come crashing down? I took it as a sign not just to rest, but to evaluate where my relationship stands with God. Yes, you heard right, my relationship with God. 

Now you may be wondering what does that have to do with burnout. What i have come to realize as i continue my faith journey with God is that anytime I neglect nurturing my relationship with him everything goes out of balance.  I become more impatient, irritable, overwhelmed, critical, insecure, fearful, anxious, controlling, hesitant to give up my time, more of a record keeper and the list goes on. For many of us we have come or came to a point of trying God because we were tired of the burden that comes when you are not in a relationship with God. I have also noticed that my weaknesses also overpower me most times when I distance myself from daily devotion with God. I love Matthew 11:28-30 which says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon. Let me teach you, because i am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden i give you is light” This portion of scripture in essence is Jesus inviting you into a relationship with him and what he is willing to offer you once you are in a relationship with him.

“When you neglect your relationship with God, everything else by default goes out of balance”

Maybe you have been emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, relationally, or physically exhausted or you are hanging on a string of thread. If that’s you, you are not alone too because that’s how i have been feeling since July and my natural reaction for the past 4 years has been to quickly run to God and immerse my whole self in his word and prayer. But, not this time around. Unfortunate things happened to me in July and felt like a big blow in my face and, if i am to be honest, i was not ready to fully process it with God because i thought why would you allow those things to happen if you were good? How many of us have said that to God at least once? I bet many of us and there is no shame in that because it simply shows the realities of experiencing the plan of God when it does not align with our own plan.  I decided to wear my big girl pants and embrace my thick skin which I’m quite good at and keep it moving as i was in the middle of an intensive short-term job opportunity over the summer and preparing to move states to continue school which that in itself was a massive faith step. I felt like i had no time to be giving it to God and just rest at his feet when things seemingly needed my constant attention.

 Boy, was i wrong? Almost 3 months later i found myself craving God more than ever in his purest form, increasingly overwhelmed by everything around me, feeling like no one understood me because in some ways people will never fully understand what brought great pain to you but God. What you desire from people is simply an ear to listen, empathy, compassion, and communal support that they are standing with you as you grieve. I did read my Bible throughout the past 3 months, but not consistently. I did pray but not every day and certainly the prayers were a quick let’s get this done with. I listened to Christian edifying music, just not consistently. If there is ever a time where Matthew 4:4 showed itself to be true in my life is in this season. It is certainly true that you can’t live only by the material things of this world. We need God’s word poured into us consistently to remain anchored, balanced, growing, protected, and empowered. When you are in a hard season it is especially important to be filled spiritually because you are the most vulnerable to alternatives that can become lifelong distractors. This season has been incredibly humbling and instead of trying to fight what God is doing in my life i have decided to surrender to his process because his ways are always bigger and better than my ways.

Matthew 15:5 says “Yes, i am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me and i in them will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned”  This portion of scripture further emphasizes how much you shortchange yourself when you are not in a relationship with God. The fruit Jesus was talking about here was not just material fruit we think of like a thriving business, big house, luxury cars, lush vacations, but fruits of the Spirit. For some reason we tend to downplay these fruits yet those are the ones that make us into who God wants us to be and most importantly are long lasting and eternal. As cliche as this sounds when you die you won’t be buried with your possessions. What you will go with is your character will be used by God in determining the amount of responsibility he can entrusts you with in heaven. Self-control does not sound as appealing as a status and neither does love seem as appealing as a LV bag yet that former are the ones that shape us into who we become. But how can you cultivate a relationship with God?

For starters you cannot develop a relationship with God if you have not given your life to Jesus because it’s only in that decision do you gain access to God. Christ’s death restored our friendship with God( Romans 5:10-11). If you have not given your life to Christ and would love to I want to invite you to repeat this prayer

“Dear Jesus, I confess my sins and ask for your forgiveness. Please come into my heart as my Lord and Savior. I give you full permission to take complete control of my life and help me to walk in your footsteps daily by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord, for loving me unconditionally so much so you sacrificed your only and beloved son to die on the cross for me while i was a sinner so i could be saved. Thank you, Jesus. In your name in your name, i pray amen” If you made that prayer send me an email so I can send you more resources as you begin the most rewarding journey of your life with Jesus and your spiritual family(other believers). For those who already made that step, we can continue. In my last blog post, I made it clear that to be all you were created to be and do it all has to start with God. No other foundation is strong enough to stand the weight of who you will become and what you were shaped to do.

Whenever you want to develop a relationship with someone and most importantly sustain it you have to do a few things: actually talk to them, spend uninterrupted time with them, ask them questions, listen to them, observe them, and be willing to serve and sacrifice for them from time to time. However, it also has to be two-way. God is always ready to talk to you, always eager to spend quality time with you, he loves it when you are comfortable and want to ask him any questions, he enjoys listening to you, and he made the greatest sacrifice that no human being can ever make for you which is to see his son die so he could be redeemed back into relationship with you. He wanted you that bad and did not want to be separated from you forever. 

When you embrace these truths consistently, over time you will naturally start implementing some of these things. It is okay if it all seems overwhelming and perhaps intimidating. Maybe God was presented to you as this being only accessible to pastors, elders, or those who speak in tongues. Those are lies. You can simply start by talking to him like you talk to the person you are closest with and feel safe with. I talk to God like he is my mobile best friend. From the time i wake up till the time i close my eyes to sleep i am always talking to him( Morning my Father, thank you for blessing me with another day and loving me as i am. Thank you for your grace today. Today i have these classes, have work later and i have this meeting and …time. To be honest i am pretty stressed about this class. When I’m about to go meet with someone, i say God I’m about to meet this person remove any wrong motives, heighten my discernment and you know that i can overthink so help me manage my thoughts. When i am in the cafeteria eating alone, i say God thank you for this food and as i sit alone i thank you that you are giving me an opportunity to rest my thoughts and that my identity is not in how many people are sitting with me, but my identity is that I’m your child whom you love.” After a conversation with someone that made me feel uncomfortable i say, Lord that didn’t feel right, what did you think of that conversation, should i further that relationship or love them from a distance?) That is pretty much how i talk to God. I see him as my omnipresent Father who is always with me wherever i am and happy to listen to me anytime and respond to me when i make room for him and that mean sitting alone sometime during the day to hear him clearly.

Once that becomes more natural, allow yourself to begin implementing quality quiet time with God. That is when you read a verse, chapter, or story in the Bible, think about it, reflect on it and how it relates to your life, and make notes. Observe connections and the context as you read the Bible and ask the Holy Spirit questions on parts you are curious about or don’t understand. Sometimes he will give you the answer later in the day, but to get the answer you must first ask the question. I sometimes use the S.O.A.P (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer) method when studying the Bible. Most importantly always leave a minimum of 5 minutes at the end of your daily quiet time with God to sit still, be quiet, and listen through your heart and mind to what you sense he is saying to you. This is a very important muscle to train in your spiritual walk with God because it will teach you how to hear from God and over time you will learn the common ways to speak to you. Remember to hear from him you must be quiet. You can’t hear the other person if you are talking to them and don’t want to spend that quality time with them. 

As you spend this quality time with God, if it does not come naturally to you ask the Holy Spirit and for some of us, it is simply allowing yourself to be real, raw, and honest with God. If you wear masks with everyone else, let that time with God be the time when you remove those masks. The mask of perfectionism, false strength, fragile confidence, know-it-all, masks of deceptive happiness, being a tough man, strong woman when you are broken. Allow God to experience you raw because he already sees that version of you anywhere. Remember vulnerability births intimacy between two people and could it be that you may be struggling to connect with God because you are showing up as someone you think he will accept and not showing up as your true self? God honors honesty and that’s all he requires from you. Rather you say yes God i fell short and went on an alcohol binge streak because of the heartbreak than to say i am good and i know you will work it out for my good and i will stay strong while you are suppressing the pain.

Another important way to cultivate your relationship with God is private and communal prayer. There is something of prayer that brings peace and rest each time you pray. I will be hones with you and say prayer is something i have to sometimes force myself to do. Studying the Bible comes more natural to me and i find it really enjoyable, and enriching. Prayer is the same way but for some reason i sometimes have to catch myself when i start to reduce my frequency. The fascinating thing is that every time i pray, i come out of that time of prayer feeling like a weight has been lifted off me. I feel like i have given it to God and now i don’t have to worry because he is working on my behalf. My faith is also fortified every time after i pray and i always feel like “Devil you can come with whatever you want, but i am armed and dangerous” lol. I genuinely come out feeling invincible but not relying on my strength but resting in God’s power.

Allow God to love you unconditionally, embrace you without hidden motives, and accept you as you are. Human being no matter how pure they may come across have the capacity to do those things but not God. This is not to make you a guarded and cynical person because it creates barriers that hinder the beauty of community God designed us all, but to enable you accept humanity for what it is. We are all not perfect and will miss the mark from time to time yet God commanded us to love each other regardless. It may even be hard to consider let alone receive these wonderful truths i have just said because men have let you down so many times. Nurturing your relationship with God will heal old wounds and help you believe again. I know this to be true not only because of the countless examples in the Bible, but i have seen it in my close friends’ lives, my family’s lives and i am seeing it in my life too.

I hope this one edified you in some way and provided a few practical tools to revive or develop a relationship with God. I 100% guarantee you that it is a decision you will never regret as you continue to navigate the rest of your life. A relationship with God will always be your advantage point. Remember that you matter and are loved deeply.

Be sure to like and comment if there is something in particular that stuck out to you and subscribe to the Blog so you won’t miss a future blog post. I will see you on the next!

P.s When you have moment, please find time to listen to these songs paying close attention to the lyrics: On Time God by Woman Evolve Worship, Breathe Upon Me by Neon Adejo and Speak A Word by Dr Tumi. Enjoy!!