Becoming Well With Liz Tafadzwa

Hello BW tribe. I can safely say that I missed you all and it is crazy to think it has been a couple of months since I last posted. We are not going to get into reasons why that happened because a part of that reason is what birthed this new series. But before that, If you are a new reader here, welcome and know that you are already loved. To my regular readers, welcome back tribe. Here we get real because I want you healed, whole, freed, and released into your God-given purpose. So with all of that out of the way, I want to officially introduce “Can We Be Honest,” a 16-part series that will be coming your way every Wednesday for the next 4 months. Yes, you read that right, 4 whole months. The last three months in particular have exposed every artificial part of me and confronted my usual tendency to hold back what God truly wants me to release to his people as well as my own unhealed and still dysfunctional parts. I have also been learning that when pretense and sugarcoating thrive you and I remain sick, fragmented, and questioning the reason why God put us on this earth. This series will be targeting our four pillars (spiritual, mental, emotional, and relational wellness) and helping you to be honest about what is possibly keeping you sick, bound, unsure of your identity, and seeking your reason for existence. I love you BW tribe and best believe this series wrecked me first when God was dealing with me over the entire summer and I will never talk about something that I have either not done or actively done. So here we go.

What is your biggest priority right now? I don’t need you to give me your response but I do need you to be radically honest with yourself. Get into the habit of being honest because when you lie to yourself you only hurt yourself further. You don’t have to judge yourself either because it is in critically judging ourselves or others that we become blind to our pathway to freedom or any lasting change. You may even be nervous to ask yourself this question and it’s okay if you can’t answer right now, but I want you to think intently about this question for the next 3 days. What is the thing that you value most and put above anything else? Different examples I have heard from people include security, fashion, food, sex, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, money, peace, children, career, hair, body physique, relationships, God, etc. There are no right or wrong answers here. It is simply your truth. So if your answer is money for instance that’s okay. That is better than saying something else that is not a true reflection of your reality. 

When I initially asked myself this question my first inclination was to say God, but he really wasn’t my first priority. Security and food were my main priorities. I wouldn’t have known that God was not my priority if I was not honest enough to admit the truth and the fastest way to know what you truly prioritize is the thing/s you would be willing to lose everything for in order to keep it/them. If God is your main priority and first in your life, are you willing to lose friends, followers, money, or lucrative opportunities in order to keep God at the center of your life and do what he tells you to do? My guess for most of us if we are truly honest is no.. Yet time and time again in churches we hear pastors encourage people to put God at the center of their lives. The Bible is also filled with promises when we make God the center of our lives( Matthew 6:33, Exodus 20:3, Psalm 37;4, John 3;30, Galatians 2:20, Hebrews 12:2, Mark 8:34, etc). 

Matthew 4:4 says “Men do not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” In other words, getting your physical needs met is not enough to live a holistically healthy life, and If I put it in biblical terms, the “abundant life.” This is a reality that many of us have avoided and it reflects in our priorities. We think that if we are financially secure and thriving then our other needs should magically be met, but that is not how God wired us to function. His Word not only meets our spiritual needs but also our mental and emotional needs and gives us principles to apply to have our financial and relational needs met. He is an all-encompassing God hence why making God the center of your life will radically shift a lot of things in your life and give you the tools to have all your needs met. 

Many of us endured childhood trauma, and that came with many unmet emotional needs and as we grew up to become adults we bought into the lie that if I am financially/ materially secure then my unmet emotional needs which by the way become voids would somehow be eradicated. For some poverty was your trauma, for others it was church abuse while for others it was bullying. For others, their traumatic experiences happened as an adults and that is something not talked about enough. Whatever your void is, it likely drove you away from God instead of towards him. But just like a building can’t stand without strong pillars and a foundation that anchors it, the same is true for you. Sex is a beautiful gift to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage, but whether you are married or not it is not a stable center that can keep you standing when the heaviest tests of life will come. The same is true with money,  popularity, etc. They are not necessarily bad things, just not a strong anchor.

I have also realized in my own life that you cannot prioritize something you are not kin to so before we make any effort to uproot shaky centers we have to first admit we are not drawn to God because of what happened to us. You may even be mad at God and if that’s where you are that is okay too. The first step to healing and reconciliation with him is to admit you are mad at him. He can handle that kind of honesty because he loves you so much. Maybe you are mad at him for the way you look, the gifts you want but were not given, the failure of a relationship you fasted for believing it would work and it still failed, the kid you had to bury, repeating a university class you had studied hard for, but still failed, the absent father, etc. You need to let all that out and bring that hidden resentment to light because if you don’t you will continue living in the painful darkness of denial. That is a place I don’t want you in. 

I want you to assess what or who is the center of your life this week. Remember no judgment here. It’s okay to admit that God is currently not first in your life because that is the only way you can truly know he isn’t and have enough courage and conviction to move things to their rightful place and give God his deserving place in your life. Making God the center of your life won’t excuse you from the inevitable storms of life and neither will you be immune to pain but because God is the only stable center/anchor strong enough to keep you standing in the midst of every storm or loss you will face I want to invite you to consider the idea of giving him another chance to be first in your life. I promise you, nothing under his control will ever get out of control but whatever you try to control will eventually either get out of control or make you get out of control. You will get out of control mentally, emotionally, and relationally. Of course, you will become soul-sick because you are fighting a war with God that you won’t win. God is God and you are not. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and present everywhere. You and I can’t do that and it is helpful to accept that limitation for your own wellness. When we surrender our need to play God in our lives and let him be who he is and we decide to be who he made us to be, holistic wellness will finally have a chance to commence. 

“Nothing under God’s control will ever get out of control, but whatever you try to control will eventually either get out of control or make you get out of control.”

I have done my part, now I need you to do your part. Don’t let this just be another Blog Post. I want you to take action firstly because you now know better and secondly, that is the only way you can reap the results you desire. Your work this week is fairly straightforward and simple yet hard to implement if you are not careful. Your homework is to spend some time alone and be honest about what is your first and main priority. No one is hovering over your shoulder and I already modeled my responses so you won’t have to share with others in the comment section if you don’t want to. You will see why I need you to do this work as the weeks unfold. If you thought this was valuable I would love for you to let me know by liking this post or commenting down below. You are welcome to share with a friend, colleague, or relative because if you are getting well but those in your environment aren’t, they will eventually sabotage your progress. Love you BW tribe!