Becoming Well With Liz Tafadzwa

Hello BW tribe. How has your week been going? If it hasn’t been good be encouraged to know that this too shall pass and if it’s going great be fully present for all of it. To my new readers, welcome! You are already loved here and to my regulars welcome back tribe. 

Some people mentally struggle because of their genetic disposition, while others it is a result of trauma. Whatever the cause of your mental health struggle is I want to validate the pain it has caused you. I see you and whatever happened did happen and it does matter how big or small you think it is. I know you have suffered a great deal and I don’t want you to suffer more than you have already suffered especially if it’s not making you well.

If you do a quick Google search of mental health illnesses, most of them are emotional disorders expressed as dysfunctional behavior. Again, I don’t want to minimize any of them because I battled with my mental health for a long time, but I came to realize that the torment is often a war between a person’s mind, will, and emotions. Anxiety disorders, eating disorders, OCD, chronic depression, body dysmorphia, bipolar, schizophrenia, and paranoia are deeply painful cages.

If you have suffered from any of these or lived with someone with one of these disorders then you know what I am talking about. They all weigh a person down mentally because it’s a perpetual cycle of emotional overwhelm, giving into their copying mechanism followed by shame and the cycle continues. Another devastating reality about mental health struggles is that they attack your mind which is your control center. Your life is controlled by your thoughts more than your circumstances. It’s no surprise that if you struggle with your mental health the quality of your life also significantly drops.

So what role do you play in your mental suffering?

1. Playing Victim

I know it’s tough to hear and you may even feel like I’m invalidating your truth, but that’s not my heart posture at all. I want you free.Yes you were the victim, and yes what they did to you was wrong, but continuing to point fingers at them and wanting everyone to feel sorry for you is part of why you may continue to suffer. I want to assure you that it has taken me years to get to this point of accepting this harsh truth, but this reality alone broke the stronghold of rage in my life. 

Playing the victim is comfortable and comforting, but it pushes you further and further away from taking responsibility. I love Rick Warren’s definition of responsibility. He defines it as the ability to respond to life. You have no control and won’t have control over a lot of things in your life, but you do have control over how you respond to what happens to you. You could not control the person’s abusive treatment and behavior towards you at the time perhaps because you were dependent on them or the power they had over you, but how you respond to it will contribute to your continued suffering or freedom. 

2. Bible/Word Deprivation

Not reading the Bible every day or at the very least more than a few days, 100% will also compromise your mental health and strength. I won’t sugarcoat it all. You need a little bit of the Bible every single day. Why? Because it carries hope, has answers/solutions to every problem you will ever face, and guides you as you navigate day-to-day life. If anxiety is already a struggle for you, going through life without reading the Bible that has hundreds of verses that start with “don’t be afraid or worry” is you choosing to not receive God’s help that gives you peace and joy. I also had to say this harsh truth as a person who struggles with anxiety from time to time. 

When you are receiving threats from authorities you need to be reminded of promises that say “he will never leave nor forsake you, he will defend the righteous, he will not let the godly go hungry, slip or remain down when they fall.” There are thousands of promises in the Bible that if you read one every day half of the things that weigh you down mentally would be immediately lifted.

3. Your inner circle

If the people that you spend the most time with are chronically negative, spend time gossiping and having baseless arguments, and traffic in conversations where division and chaos are taking place, then you will eventually struggle mentally. Add verse. I don’t care how resistant or strong you are. Every human being given enough time will be influenced by their environment. 

This is one of the reasons why the older I have gotten, the more selective I am of the environments I expose myself to. I understand that it may seem like refusing to hang out with a particular individual or joining the hottest club or class in town is being on the wrong side of history, but I know that given enough time i will eventually start thinking and talking like those people. If I don’t like what they exude, then i protect myself by not engaging. If everyone around you is prideful, deceptive, and stingy over time your nature starts leaning that way. If they are integral, generous, or committed, you will also eventually start emulating those same traits. Spiritually, there are also spirits you can either be joined to or released from depending on who you spend vulnerable moments with.

The same is true for your mental strength and health. If you spend a lot of time with people with a quitting spirit, a lack of mindset, sees the worst in everything, and are pessimistic, there is a very high chance your mental wellness will decline. However, if you spend most of your time with tenacious, optimistic, faith-filled, and positive people, your mental health has a better chance of thriving.

 For others, it happens very quickly while for others it takes a while, but no one is immune to environmental influence. This is why most successful people in different industries guard their inner circle because they can weigh you down so much that it affects your creativity and productivity. 

4. Obsession over Pop Culture

Trying to keep up with its trends, music, fashion, movies, and trendy products from influencers and celebrities will eventually compromise your mental health. Maybe you have said the same thing I have said to myself before, “I need a break from social media.” It’s not that social is inherently bad, but when you consume too much of it you pay the mental price day in and day out until you develop self-control and refuse to be its slave.

 I believe the ever-changing nature of pop culture is what contributes to the mental decline of many people. Many people try to build their foundation on pop culture values and it continues to fail them because it is not stable and constant. Only God is that. Young people are getting into depression. They feel like they are failures because they have failed to accumulate what people double their age are only experiencing. They can’t sleep at night because they work so hard to get fashionable clothes that will be out of style before the year ends.

I know this one was hard, but If you get what I unpacked in this post tribe, i can assure you that your mental health will eventually be transformed. Your mind is the most valuable asset God gave you. When that asset is not well managed and taken care of, your life will be significantly affected. Your thoughts control how you feel, behave, and move through life. This is a great post to as many times as you need and hold yourself accountable. 

I want you to do some honest reflection. Remember when you lie to yourself you are only hurting yourself and the one who stays stuck like Chuck in a pickup truck, a famous line by Myron Golden is you. I don’t want that for you. I want you to thrive mentally, but it is going to require taking massive responsibility and reclaiming your power back. Refuse to let how someone hurt you so badly keep you down for the rest of your life. You can’t give them that much power. I need you to get into the habit of saying “ I am responsible for the state of my life, whether it’s good or bad.” The good news is if there is something in your life you don’t like and you can change it, you already have the answer: change it.

I love you and I will see you on the next one.