Becoming Well With Liz Tafadzwa

Hello BW tribe. How has your week been? I will be honest, it’s been overwhelming because school projects are starting to pile as I am a few weeks away from the end of the semester. If it hasn’t been great be encouraged to know that this too shall pass and if it’s going great be fully present for all of it. We have a couple of new subscribers. Welcome fam! I am so humbled that chose to join this community. You are already loved here and to my regulars welcome back tribe. We are in week 12 of our series Can We Be Honest?

 This week’s topic is a very important one because it’s the topic that birthed this entire series. I received a deeper understanding and revelation of God’s unconditional love for you and I that shifted my perspective on a lot of things and solidified my fragile identity.

We live in a time where women’s perception of love has been reduced to flowers, chocolates, designer clothing, and accessories, and men can only be valued and accepted for what they provide. It’s also very interesting and perhaps concerning that Christians are also adopting that mindset on love yet they are children of the one who authored love. Don’t get me wrong, these things are not inherently wrong. Using them as the standard marker for true agape love is what’s deeply problematic.

 I understand why we are going down this trajectory. Every human being wants to be loved. It’s a hard-wired innate need that God placed in our hearts and if that need is not met as a child, a person will go to great lengths to hopefully get it met. The lack of understanding of what real love is and ignorance of what the Bible says about love explains some of what we see today. 

Before I jump in on the impact of God’s unconditional love, I want to mention a few misguided statements I often hear and see about love. “Love doesn’t hurt, love is passion, love settles, love is subjective, love is earned, love has reasons” When a woman is proposed to or given a car by their boyfriend/husband, fans say “loved right.” If you grew up in a home where love was either conditional or absent from both or one of your parents, you most likely tried to find that unconditional love elsewhere, but God. The void created when unconditional love is withheld is deep. So deep that makes it’s way into the fabric of your soul, mind, will, and emotions. In one of my posts a few weeks ago I said when you and I are deprived of unconditional love we malfunction. This is because it is impossible to be healthy, while soul sick.

“When unconditional love is withheld, we malfunction”

God is love. His very nature is love and he is the one who created the concept of love. That means, the best place to learn what true love is, is not to go to social media but the Bible. If you ask the people in your life why they love you, they are most likely going to start with “because.” However, when the words “because” or “but” are used, you can automatically know that the love is conditional. Because provides reasons based on what you do or provide them with and “but”  explicitly states the borderline. That means if you pass that line, love may be withheld. A lot of the people we believe love us so much, really only love us conditionally. Furthermore, real love cannot be claimed when you have only been good. It is tested and can only be trusted when you mess up a few times and the person chooses to still love you.  

“Love can only be trusted, when you have messed up many times and they still choose to love you”

God loves you period. There are no reasons or conditions. He loves you not because of who you are or what you have done for him, but because of who he is and what he did for you. There is absolutely nothing you can ever do to make God stop loving you. The person who killed thousands of people and the most spiritual, Bible-abiding believer is equally loved by God. God’s love is unearned nor is it revocable. God does not love you any less when you fall short and sin and neither is he going to love you more when you have a good day of obedience. He can’t love you any more than he already does because his love for you is perfect. He loves you completely as you are, flaws and all.

 Isn’t that amazing? Is there any human being who can love you like that? We often believe our parents, siblings, spouses/partners, friends, etc love us more than God. How do I know that? Because we fear being rejected by people and their love more than we fear God and him withholding his love. Again, God will never withdraw his love for you no matter what you do, but we believe he will because we put him on the same level as humans and because we can’t see him physically we make his love secondary and a backup love. 

 If you still don’t believe it, go ask the person you believe loves you more than God if they are willing to die for you. Human love is important and powerful, but certainly nowhere near God’s love. Human love has limitations when stretched enough times. God’s love has no limitations despite how many times you mess up. Human love will fail you at times and God’s love is described as unfailing in many Scriptures in the Bible. Human love is temporary because people die or leave, often without your permission. God’s love is permanent and eternal. Human love can trap, but God’s love permanently frees. The more convinced you are that God loves you the more secure and bold you become. You aren’t afraid of failing or walking away from people who want you to be someone you are not to experience their love and acceptance. God’s love unravels true authenticity. 

You are not going to find your authentic self and courageously live out who you are until you know God truly believe that God loves you as you are. Phoniness is a sign that you are still at the mercy of people’s love and acceptance. God’s love frees you to be yourself. 

God’s unconditional love also expedites healing. I am still exploring this idea that “ healing is a forever journey,” because what does the Bible mean then when it says “by his stripes I am healed.” Time will tell if I will continue to question that line of thought. What I do know is that understanding, receiving, embracing, and embodying God’s unconditional love heals deep and old wounds faster than any of your self-work will do. His love uproots lies you believed caused extra layers of pain and ends the inner war you were having within. God’s love after giving your life to Christ is what brings true peace. A peace that can’t be found through travel, material possessions, achievements, or a relationship. If anything these beautiful things will amplify that secure and stable peace that comes from basking in the love of God. This is the impact of God’s unconditional love. It completely changes you.

“God’s unconditional love also expedites healing”

It doesn’t matter if you felt conditionally loved by both or one of your parents. It doesn’t matter if you were betrayed by an ex, friend or former boss. It doesn’t matter what happened to you. It doesn’t matter if you are single or married. It doesn’t matter what race, gender, or socioeconomic class you are in. If you spend lots of time understanding how much God loves you,(verses you can look at) his unconditional love will pull you out of the pit of despair and unending pain. It will heal and restore your soul in ways that will drive you out of dysfunction and years of toxicity. I really mean this tribe because I have seen accepting his unconditional love change me from the inside out. God’s love freed me from unforgiveness, bitterness, low self-esteem, self-worth, people pleasing, and many other destructive coping mechanisms I developed to cope with trauma. His love changes.

I want you to sit in the love of God tribe. Here is a list of scriptures that specifically talk about God’s love that I encourage you to read, memorize and think about for a long time until they are in you. You can put them on poster cards/sticky notes somewhere you you can see them every single day:

• Romans 8:38-39
• 1 John 4:18
•  John 3:16
•  1 John 4:9-10
• Isaiah 54:10
• Lamentations 3:22-24

This is the word of God. It’s the only truth strong enough to loosen the grip of insecurity that has been choking you for years. I want you freed.  I love you and I will see you on the next one.